Ephesians 1:5, “He chose us before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love, He predestined us for Adoption as sons and daughters through Jesus Christ according to the purpose of His will.”
I’ve learned that a big misperception of our personal adoption story, and many others like us, is that Aaron and I were unable to grow a family biologically. That would be false. Adoption was Plan A for how we had already dreamed of starting our family. I understand there are other families for which fertility was a driving force and still feel their story is as valuable, but we all come to this decision for different reasons. The irony of our story is, WE were actually Plan B for our kids. In a perfect, unbroken world, their bio family would have been healthy and whole enough to care for them. I once read a quote that did such a great job of the conflicting emotions a mother’s heart feels when on the journey of fostering or adoption: “The day you’re handed another woman’s child is the day your heart breaks and heals at the exact same time.” To love our children as much as we do also means to feel gratitude, love, and empathy for the woman who carried them. Without her, we wouldn’t have them.
So, why did adoption feel like such a natural choice for Aaron & me? Three reasons: When we were growing up, our parents modeled loving any child that needed it, regardless of genetics. We both knew children were in foster care at no fault of their own and just needed someone to believe in them. Finally, we, in all of our brokenness, are fiercely chased down by our Heavenly Father to bring beauty to our tragedies. Why wouldn’t we do that for His kids on earth?
As the youngest of four, I grew up watching each sibling have at least one friend move in with us during hard times in their bio family. Our cozy, four bedroom house would be reshuffled with no second thought to accommodate another child or teen. I don’t actually ever recall a “family meeting” or official conversation with all of us. It was just understood that our home was open to love those who needed it and we all participated in the spirit of that belief by happily sharing our space. Aaron’s parents were the same with extended family and friends of his, along with that common spirit of having more than enough to share.
Through my work as a speech therapist when we were first married and living overseas, I would come home and describe to Aaron the precious children I would get to work with and their heartbreaking stories that typically started with mental health illness or addiction with their bio parents. We quickly learned that children in care were, more often than not, great kids from hard places. No choice that they had made had led them to this situation. That stuck with us.
Finally, as we grew closer to our heavenly Father and began to grasp the extravagant love of Christ for all of us broken souls, we wanted to “live and serve like Jesus”. God never intended for our children’s first chapter of their story to be filled with such tragedy, but He does call us as His followers to try to bring beauty to brokenness. As we are still living our story, we are a work in progress. We both feel the childlike faith our children have modeled for us in their love for us as parents and how much they love Jesus will far outweigh anything we could ever teach them. We are so grateful we got to be our Plan A’s “Plan B”.
Diane, Aaron, Mary Dru, Adam, Laney & Channing Wright
– AARON & DIANE WRIGHT